The Ministry of Concealment

In July 2022, I stood in the closet of my college apartment, taping box after box, stripping hangers, and placing my clothes properly. I did this work not with a heart of excitement but a jaw tight with anxiety and frustration. I was moving, alright. But I was moving back home with no plan, no offer letter signed, and no sense of what lay ahead. My eyes grew hot as I prepared myself to face what felt like an imminent demise. Going back home felt like I was taking ten steps backward, away from whatever forward motion a college degree was supposed to promise me. I was devastated as I realized my dream of a nice high-rise apartment in a cool city with a big girl job was quickly slipping away. I was left with nothing but a head full of seemingly hopeless dreams and a heart that felt continuously disappointed. 

It was with this feeling that I moved back home. The frustration I felt turned to a deep bitterness. "God, You couldn’t have worked it out so I could have been from somewhere else? If I were from Dallas, I wouldn’t be mad about moving back home. But Lubbock? This is ridiculous." The thought of returning to my big, small town (yes, you read that right) pained me. Half the people I met in college couldn’t believe anyone actually lived in Lubbock. The other half always followed up with "How’d you end up out there?" when I told them where I was from. I came home with low expectations for a place where not much is expected to be given or received. Lubbock is just, well, Lubbock. 

I watched as my friends went on to move into their new apartments, start their new jobs, and start graduate school. I was happy for them but struggled to reconcile their new beginnings with my old mundane. I felt like nothing awaited me, not just because of the lack of a job offer but because I was going back to the one place I spent my life praying to escape. 

On August 9, 2022, after I spent a solid week moping about being in Lubbock, no job offer in tow, and only a sliver of hope for escape remaining, the Lord gave me a dream. I was clearly pregnant and in my old Austin apartment, preparing for labor, though I was nowhere near ready to give birth. The dream flashed, and I was in Lubbock, still preparing but not ready to go into labor. I woke up startled and confused, thinking I was about to become Virgin Mary 2.0. But the Lord spoke to me, saying, "There’s a work that I started in you in Austin that can only be completed here." With that, I accepted the position that I was in. This new season was not a death sentence but a work of stretching and growing that God desired to do in me. And so, I unknowingly embarked on 1 year and 10 months of concealment in Lubbock, Texas, preparing, laboring, and pressing into God’s will for my life. 

My inquiries became less about "God, can I have this?" and more about "God, what do you desire to do in me?" My prayer life was less about "God, move me from this place" and more about "God, use me while I’m in this place." And in my quiet time, when it was just me, my Bible, and the stillness of the Holy Spirit, the Lord ministered to me about who He was creating me to be.

And so, I sat in the stillness with a journal full of prophetic words from the Lord of what I would do on the earth, the people I would impact, and how I would bring forth His glory. Yet, it was not the appointed time for those things to manifest. Why? Because the Lord was doing an internal work, a ministry of concealment. While I watched my peers minister, teach, and speak in various platforms and places, the majority of my words remained confined to my prayer journal. Beyond the occasional teaching at my childhood church or IG Live, every bit of fire was kept inside my bones. Even as opportunities to teach and speak came, the Lord led me to say “no” to most of them. "Why, Lord?" "Because it’s not yet time."

I wrestled with this concealment not just because I was at home but because there was so much I wanted to do but couldn’t. I felt (perhaps a bit arrogantly) that my gifts and destiny were too big for a place so small. I longed for someone to remember I could sing or teach and invite me to minister. I waited for someone to ask my thoughts on a subject because I definitely had something to say. Yet, the Lord hid me and everything inside me so effectively that many people had no clue where I was. "Wait, are you still in school? Or did you graduate?". "Oh, you’re still in Austin, right? No, you moved to Dallas, yeah?". All I could do was chuckle and tell them where I was and what I’d been up to. 

I found that I wasn’t seen, not because no one knew or forgot about me, but because the Lord concealed me. He covered the eyes of some because He had no desire for them to see me. He hid me because my assignment for the season was not yet to be seen. 

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After a year and almost 10 months of living in concealment, I’ve begun to meditate on what this season has meant for me personally and spiritually. In this meditation, the Lord has given me an understanding of "The Ministry of Concealment," which I will share with you. 

"Ministry" is from the Greek word diakoneo, meaning "to serve," or douleuo, meaning "to serve as a slave." Ministry, in terms and in practice, centers on being in service to others. 

"Conceal" is from the Hebrew word satar, which means to hide (oneself) or to be hidden (carefully). By definition, you are proactively hiding yourself, or someone is hiding you. 

To understand the Ministry of Concealment, we must understand three principles:

1. The Lord reveals deep and secret things

In Daniel 2, King Nebuchadnezzar has a dream he does not understand, and none of his wise men can interpret it. Daniel and his friends, being among the King’s wise men, ask the King to give them more time to interpret the dream. They seek the Lord, and He reveals the dream and its meaning. 

To God’s revelation, David replies: "He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in darkness and light dwells in Him" (Daniel 2:22). What is Daniel teaching us? God knows what is in the deep and what is in secret. Even what is in the depth of darkness, He knows. God is aware and sees even what we cannot. What is hidden from us is not hidden from Him. 

HE is the one that reveals, not us, for He is the one who actually knows what He is revealing. We are merely vessels for the manifestation of HIS revelation. For those in Christ, what appears to be dark is actually light. If we dwell in God and God dwells in light, we too dwell in light, for He is light at all times. So even if we are hidden in what feels like darkness, what God is actually doing is concealing us by His blinding light. Therefore, we cannot confuse seasons of light and dark. 

2. The Lord ordains both light and darkness

Genesis 1:1-3, 14-19: "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form, and void; and darkness [a]was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. 3 Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. 14 Then God said, "Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years; 15 and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth"; and it was so. 16 Then God made two great [a]lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. 17 God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18 and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 So the evening and the morning were the fourth day."

The earth began in darkness. Yet, God introduced light because He saw that light was as necessary as darkness. Yet, He did not eradicate darkness in totality because there was a need to discern night from day, concealment from manifestation. For one cannot exist without the other. He established light amidst darkness. And this light and darkness was specifically for signs and seasons and for days and years. 

So dwelling in the light means that even in the darkness that is concealment, discernment of the signs and season is to be had and obtained. For where God is, so is wisdom and understanding. Therefore, we do not need to be confused in times of concealment, for God, by His light, can reveal the time and season for us.

3. The Lord works within light and darkness

Psalm 139:11-13,15-16:  "If I say, "Surely the darkness shall [d]fall on me,"

Even the night shall be light about me;

12 Indeed, the darkness [e]shall not hide from You,

But the night shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

13 For You formed my inward parts;

You [f]covered me in my mother’s womb.

15 My [h]frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them."

The psalmist remarks on God’s perspective and relationship with light and darkness. Even if we want darkness to consume us, it shall not hide us from God. Why? The darkness and light are both alike to Him, for He sees in both and knows the inner workings of both. How? He created both. 

And how do we know dark and light are the same to Him? It was in the dark concealment of our mother’s womb that He formed out inward parts (personality and body). Even though our own mothers could not SEE (as in the depths of us), our frame was not hidden from God. 

For even what is dark, He can see and work in. He saw as we were skillfully woven together, unformed, and a mere substance. And as He looked upon our SUBSTANCE (not merely personality or looks), it was from that place that He fashioned every day of our lives, writing it in His book, even before a single day had passed. 

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Within these principles, the Lord gave me a simple but profound revelation about the ministry of concealment. 

It is in concealment, the hidden, the secluded unseen place in which God weaves us and fashions us, doing the work of writing our days and perfecting His creation. The manifestation of that concealment, however, is not without labor. The birthing to bring life from dark to light is not without hardship and endurance. In the ministry (labor) of concealment, what was actually developed in concealment will begin to show. If you did not build strength or endurance for labor, it will show. And what is birthed will come with more pain because we despised the time of concealment in expectation of the manifestation without preparation for the labor. We desired to skip steps, yet God skipped no steps in making us. He concealed, He fashioned, He labored, He birthed. 

Concealment is not merely a concept or a buzzword but a mandate that rests upon our walk with Christ. We MUST undergo it if we desire to become even an ounce of what God has called us to be. We cannot desire the manifestation of glory without process, nor can we become warriors in the kingdom of God without going through basic training. 

Concealment, labor, and processing are necessary to enter the fullness of what God has already ordained us to become. However, He is too kind to send us out anywhere half-baked and unprepared. And He cares about His name too much to allow us to proclaim it all over the world with absolutely no understanding or true recognition of WHO it is that we’re proclaiming. 

So I implore you if you’re in a season where it feels like no one can see or hear you, if you’re burning with a Word you cannot yet release, or if you’re "stuck" in a place you have no desire to be, allow the Lord to reveal to you what He’s doing in the darkness. Seek His face and ask for a revelation of His light. Allow Him to give you a glimpse of what will manifest in due time and season. 

If you’re preparing to go into a time of concealment, do not despise it. Ask the Lord to shine His light in the darkness and make you aware of the times and seasons. Just because it’s dark does not mean you have to be blind. Allow the Lord to inform you of WHY He’s taking you through concealment, and walk accordingly. 

And if you have the pleasure of exiting concealment and are entering your time of manifestation, remember where you came from. Remember what the Lord built in that time of concealment. Allow that season to be a point of constant humility when the accolades and recognition come. For you are only at this point because GOD made it so. He established His light and all your days in and through your time of concealment. 

Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"